It’s become social norm to walk into a room and apologise. We apologise for our hair, our eyebrows, our clothes and ourselves daily. “Sorry I’m such a state” “sorry I’m so emotional” “sorry I haven’t washed my hair” all things no person should have to apologise to good people about. All things no one should have to apologise to anyone for. We start our conversations by putting ourselves down before we’ve even began.
However I hereby refuse.
I will not apologise for the fact I haven’t showered for a week because it doesn’t affect you in the slightest. The amount of dry shampoo and body spray making up my anatomy is as far as I go in considering you opinion on that. I will not apologise for my mental state, you don’t have to live with it so you don’t get a say in how I come to terms with it. Yes I’ll always put trigger warnings in what I share, I care about people’s welfare and never want to be the person handing out emotional scaring or “ideas” of how to further your demise. But what I share and say is no longer cushioned for those who cannot face truth or reality.
I will not apologise for my existence. I will not apologise for how I live because my lifestyle, I hope, isn’t hurting anyone. I won’t apologise for taking up space, for having a voice or an opinion. I won’t push my belief or lack of, on to you but I will talk about what is important and in my heart. I will no longer apologize for standing up for those who are not being heard. I won’t apologise if you are uncomfortable with subjects and problems in this world that I try to educate myself in and share. You should be uncomfortable, we all should be. Discomfort shows the need for change, the need for equality and justice and freedom.
Let’s stop apologising for having feelings, for having bad days and for sometimes not feeling like it, whatever it may be. Let’s stop saying sorry for how we look, how we dress, how we talk, laugh, walk, smell or for that spot on our chins. Let’s stop apologising for choosing to eat desserts or seconds or for needing to eat in the first place. Stop apologising for educating ourselves and for raising awareness to issues in the world. Stop saying sorry for living, breathing and doing things that work for you and your family. Do not say sorry for being who you are. Do not say sorry for how you look. Do not say sorry unless you have wronged someone.
Apologise only for hurting another living thing. And be the you that you were born to be, you are perfect that way.
Take care of you,
Love and hugs,
Header image by Grace. D. Chin
Insert image by David Ray