Perfection is something we all strive to achieve in life. We want the perfect house, the perfect job to have perfect hair and perfect eyebrows. Then kids come along. You realise that the house will probably be a mess until the kids grow up and move out. Your job takes a backseat, (provided your not pushed out for having kids in the first place). Your hair is forever in a pineapple ontop of your head because you never mastered the cute messy bun and you’ll be lucky to ever have even one of your eyebrows ‘on fleek’. You finally admit defeat and admit that perfection does infact not exist because that’s life!
Why then do we all seem to have it in our sleep deprived minds that there is a perfect way to parent? We all seem to think that there’s someone out there doing it all better than us. That we have to be this perfect mama or the world will fall apart. We have to hand make all our children’s food, failing that we have to buy the new organic, gluten free, lactose free fun free food that’s all the rage or our kids just might spontaneously combust. Obviously if there’s dietary restrictions then you get allergen free foods, but no kid ever suffered from eating beans on toast.
It seems to be engrained into us that the kids must look perfect, we must look perfect and the house must be perfect or so help you. If you don’t follow the latest trends, have the latest fads, have a great car, own your 5 bedroom house, have a cleaner so you can attend the biggest events, look perfect whilst doing so, whilst your perfect children sit quietly and behave like angels ALL THE TIME, then you are not a perfect parent.
Sometimes my daughter has a healthy home made dinner full of nutrients. Sometimes she has beans cheese and mash because it’s easy. Some days she is dressed beautifully, acts like an angel, smiling at everything, eating without a fuss and goes to bed on time no fights. Others she stays in pyjamas, she hates the world, her head spins like the girl from the exorcist, she throws all her food on the floor, paddies like a pro and refuses to sleep untill the sun comes back up. Sometimes I’m well presented, hair done, make up hiding the eye bags, teeth brushed and dressed in clean clothes. My house is clean and tidy and dinner is ready for my man getting home from work. Others my hair is in that good old pineapple shape and is begging to be washed, my clothes have food and sometimes poop on them, I haven’t even put on deodorant let alone put on make up and my teeth are forgotten about. My house looks like the donation room of a charity shop and dinner becomes a frozen pizza. That my friend is reality.
In all that is my child suffering? Well maybe from the smell of me, but not from anything else. She’s loved, she’s clean (even if just from a pack of baby wipes) and fed. Above all she is healthy. To her I am the perfect parent. I provide her with what she needs. I’m teaching her honest values, to say please and thank you, not to eat things off the floor and that although she likes to pull mama’s hair she can’t do that to people.
How I parent is different from how you parent. The reason? Well my child is different from your child. So long as you are doing you best, that they are fed, watered and loved and are taught right from wrong and it works for your family, then you are parenting perfectly.
Love and hugs,